Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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