Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize