His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
