with your own penis?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
