I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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