we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
