I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
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He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize