even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
my sisters under your porch take her home
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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