We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize