And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
