Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
How's work?
Spinning.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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