i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
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In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
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I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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