Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
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he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
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I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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