All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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