similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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