Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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