the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
