Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
it hurts more in the daytime
This house was built for laser tag.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
