just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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