i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize