just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
