everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
