weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
