her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
