if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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