nut hugger
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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