You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
