she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
