You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize