As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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