he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
