i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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