Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
