Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
