Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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