During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
