Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
