Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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