wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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