I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
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