oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
