This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
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