some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Are we still banned from the library?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
