I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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