Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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