Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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