I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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