I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
