I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
