You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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