You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
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