She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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