Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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