She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
why is half of my head shaved?
You left your phone here
Wait...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
