I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Holy sore nipples Batman
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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