marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
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