I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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