but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
