Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
