dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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