Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
